confidencegap

Can we build structures that support the skills that individuals (male or female) can bring to the table even lacking confidence? Is it as simple as simply telling these individuals: you are doing very well (like the experiment from the article)

It would be ironic if positive feedback is what is needed to nurture confidence... and action- when positive feedback may be withheld unless you exude confidence.

Hmm...maybe it's helping entrepreneurs understand what incremental success looks like.

So...normalizing small failures and celebrating the learning that comes from each....

I think mentoring is so important in entrepreneurship. I don't think it has to be sex-based either.

Mel, where do or other entrepreneurs find your best mentors?

I worry that too much positive feedback could inhibit the ability to rebound after failures.

Founders get the benefit of more direct feedback (from failures or successes) but it can be overwhelming making sense of it all. Maybe the signal-to-noise ratio isn't always that high after all.

Laura, this is hard to answer! I think you find those people who believe in you, follow up diligently with people they connect you to and build your network that way.

Melanie- that's interesting... does too much positive feedback recreate a grade school environment where we are rewarded for being "good girls"? At the same time, in HR we talk about how positive feedback is deficient in many work environments

In my above quote, I should have said, "undeserved" positive feedback.

It's my first experience with CrowdChat, too. I liked that the conversation engaged people who otherwise wouldn't normally talk informally with each other.

Thank all of you for participating and checking in. I think this experiment is worthy of another try in the future.

This is true especially, I believe, in arenas where success and ability cannot be objectively assessed, as in the experiments the article mentioned. Most professions assess "excellence" and "success" very subjectively.

Virginia Valian's (Why So Slow?) and others' research suggests that the subjective assessments may include different assumptions for male-appropriate behaviors and female-appropriate behaviors.

I suspect that's true in larger organizations where there are lots of interdepencies among contributors. In a small business, the feedback can be more direct. Even if you start with confidence, lack of competence tends to come back to bite you.

I do a class exercise where someone "leads" a group through a virtual ropes course- 1 of the most successful leaders I've ever had received the lowest leader assessments from her group- she was very competent, but didn't exude confidence

It makes me wonder what your group was looking for in a leader. Do we need skill or confidence to be lead well?

Dave, I think you are right, eventually lacking competence catches up to you. But how to get those who *are* competent on the right path? If competent folks do get into power, will they be successful if their followers don't perceive competence?

- meant to say: if their followers don't perceive *confidence*

@wdbayless Melanie, this was a leadership class and my students have a clear expectation of what "good leadership" looks like. Technical expertise is a very small part of that expectation. Much of it is extroverted, assertive, confident, authoritative...

So, confidence and competence are required. Confidence gets you the gig, and demonstrated competence keeps the show running. Women may not need to be over-the-top cocky, but they do need to give the sense that they can get the job done.

Again this makes me think of the experiment described at the end of the article, when people were told AT RANDOM they had done well on the previous exercise, and then all of them performed significantly better in the next task.

That is so interesting! I don't want to cause waves, but I wonder if we need to challenge that extroverted, assertive, authoritative all are necessary to make a good leader.

Melanie, we work on that in the leadership class! which brings much relief to my introverted students who don't think they have much leadership potential...

I agree with Dave that a leader who is not all of these things may do better in a small business setting where their competence is clear.

So working in a small business or similar environment can tighten up the OODA cycle time, maybe increase the signal-to-noise ratio?

I think that's right, Laura. It gets difficult when the founder can no longer wear all the hats. I've seen how entrepreneurs - men and women - often default to an over-reliance on confidence at that stage.

It's a challenge to challenge the assumptions about extroverted, assertive, authoritative leadership! Those extroverts are so darn LOUD sometimes.

The dark side of confidence: http://www.forbes.co...

The article suggests that confidence must be genuine in order to be "well-received" by others... perhaps bravado is not genuine?

To me, humility is confidence under control. I have found this to be a great way to lead.

"Humility is confidence under control." I like that. Acting in the form of experimentation requires both, doesn't it. Confidence to act; humility to recognize that experimentation is required because we don't know.

So are men (for whatever reasons) predisposed to "experiment" more than women?

Do men have faster-paced cycle times for experimenting? I keep coming back to Boyd's Observe-Orient-Decide-Act (OODA) cycle--we need both OO and DA in order to learn

Predisposed? I don't know. Personally, I had to learn how to experiment. During much of my early career, I reported to women bosses. Maybe I learned it from them.

@wdbaylessThank you for integrating your own experiences into this. I feel like I am still learning how to consider that not everything is a Pass-FAIL test!

Or does the cycle for many women look more like this: OO-OO-OO-D-D-D-A?

That's funny.

That would certainly cut down on the opportunities to learn from any particular Action.

The article talked about how men tend to overestimate their abilities. That would definitely help in the risk-taking process

Yes AND when they take risks and learn they weren't as "able" as they estimated, they aren't crushed and don't retreat. That may be a critical juncture for self-talk making the difference in future performance?

Well...I've found that we over-confident males are sometimes too eager to take on more risk than we should. That is, we'll sometimes take bigger actions than are necessary. Ouch.

The empirical evidence that, in certain tasks, women assessed their performance worse than their male peers, even though their objectively evaluated performance was comparable, intrigued me.

@ljblack3 Why do you think women might tend to underestimate their performance relative to their male peers?

That may be a question that people researching the interactions between neuro-cognitive-behavioral realms can answer better.

What really struck me was the statistic that boys receive 8xs more criticism in grade school, and how this manifests increased resilience as adults and ... more confidence.

The article made me wonder how women in the workplace may differ from women who are entrepreneurs. It seems like women who choose to go out on their own in business naturally have more moxie than others that remain in the workforce?

But the fact that there is empirical evidence that women's self-talk is not as positive as men's--and the evidence that being told "you're above average" changes future performance suggests that we need to learn better self-talk.

Melanie, some careers and hobbies may introduce women to more criticism (and resultant thicker skin/resilience)-- I wonder if there's a correlation between participation in athletics and women entrepreneurs?

Mel- the low proportion of women entrepreneurs may suggest that the percentages are the same, whether in others' workplaces or in one's own business...?

VK-I wish I knew more about the "boys receive more criticism" stat--do they receive more criticism AND more reinforcing feedback?

Laura, I'm not sure if boys receive more reinforcing feedback as well as criticism, but found this fascinating- we are being groomed to be more sensitive to criticism & grow more fragile senses of confidence from the time we are in grade school.

@Vk_Bratton Whether it's criticism in school or participation in sports, learning that small failures aren't deadly is important for prospective entrepreneurs.

Absolutely. How to let small failures be small... How to let ALL failures be small....

the word "resilience" keeps coming up for me... seems to have an important relationship with confidence?

@vk.bratton I suspect you are right. Acceptance that learning comes through (diminishing) failures requires/builds resilience and confidence(?).